urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr e r i n gingerr_says@hotmail.com e r i n 2007-08-18T16:39:43Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:129319 2007-08-18T16:39:43Z 2007-08-18T16:39:43Z i need somewhere to live. like stat. anyone need a roommate?<br />here's some good advice, don't move in with your significant other for a long long time because shit always tends to backfire. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:129229 2007-07-16T20:30:47Z 2007-07-16T20:30:47Z this whole trip has turned into shit.<br />i don't want to see anything or do anything.<br />i just want to get home.<br />back to my apartment where i can lock myself away from the world when i'm not at work.<br />i'm so disappointed and this has just turned into a huge waste of money for me.<br />all that i've gotten is stress. the only fun time i had was in santa rosa and that was too short-lived.<br /><br /><br /><br />uhafhjdjsfdjsgsgsdgldslks fuckfuck urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:128867 2007-07-12T03:08:02Z 2007-07-12T03:08:02Z so my whole roadtrip may be in ruins.<br />trying to figure shit out with nikkie since her flight is TOMORROW MORNING.<br />i thought family was supposed to help you and make things easier, not ruin the vacation you had planned for months.<br />way to be prepared. this is why i am so crazy when it comes to being prepared for anything and everything down to the tiniest detail. things have to be put together properly or it will fall apart and that's exactly what is happening right now.<br /><br />sweet sweet tits. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:128531 2007-05-23T14:10:11Z 2007-05-23T14:10:11Z do i have this feeling i'm being lied to? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:128258 2007-05-10T23:59:10Z 2007-05-11T00:16:16Z i just wish i didn't decide to be a hermit for the past few months.<br />someday, somewhere, we'll make summer fun like we planned.<br />i'll make you a salad and we'll drink white russians when that mission is accomplished.<br /> <br />you were so loved. <br />you were so vibrant and enigmatic.<br />you're going to be missed so much by so many.<br />thank you for being a good friend to me.<br />thank you for being half my size and able to drink me under the table.<br />i could never figure out how the hell you could do it.<br />you beat me every time we played pool at whipper snappers.<br />i know you're somewhere moshing with a jack and coke/pbr in your fist.<br />you crazy bitch. i love you and i miss you.<br /><br /><br />and to my friends that read this:<br />i love you. i never used to say it much, but i do.<br />i would do anything for you guys.<br /><br /><br />just please be good to one another. be safe and be curteous. life's too goddamn short to hate or hold grudges. it's just not worth it. live a good life, be a good person, and love with all your heart. take chances and live every day like it's your last because you never know what can happen. <br /><br />please watch over those that need you and love you most. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:127552 2007-01-31T16:27:13Z 2007-01-31T16:27:13Z so i'm taking yoga this semester.<br />i see a lot of camel toe in that class.<br />it's pretty awkward. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:127364 2006-12-19T17:51:50Z 2006-12-19T17:51:50Z 2 classes done, 2 more to go.<br />all moved in except my cat. i still need to get her. the other 2 cats are getting their balls cut off right now. poor kitties.<br />got a flat tire on the way back from the vet.<br />got a lot of shit to clean today. i'm hoping i can get everything done today. that would be fucing awesome.<br />yeah. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:127101 2006-10-25T15:26:05Z 2006-10-25T15:26:05Z i hate when i get my hopes up and then nothing happens.<br />i hate being let down.<br />this is why i always take such a negative outlook on life - nothing ever seems to work out and then i get stuck in some sort of rut of misery.<br />i'm so bummed out.<br />i just want a decent job nearby where i will make more than i do at legal seafoods, not have to work all the fucking time, and not have to drive far.<br />instead i get stuck working all the time and being stressed beyond my own comprehension of it.<br />what the fuck why can't places just call me back, or even pick up their damn phones when i call.<br />i feel like the world hates me and wants me to fail. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:126850 2006-09-24T15:26:47Z 2006-09-24T15:26:47Z you irritate the shit out of me. every choice i make turns out to be a bad one because nothing works out properly. i hate my job. i work all the time, yet i remain broke. i cannot concentrate on school for the life of me and i don't know why. i try so hard to focus and it just doesn't work. my apartment is a constant mess. i go through a whole cleaning ritual once a week instead of doing much needed homework because the place gets so dirty, yet i am never home. i can't even be in my apartment for long becuase of the stupid cats. i can't even lay down in my own bed. i can never get to bed earlier than 1 or 2 am because there is always something keeping me up.<br /><br />and now i have to go to work. again. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:126563 2006-09-05T22:01:04Z 2006-09-05T22:01:04Z i love how i have a shit load of late charges on one of my credit cards because the moron that called me months ago got my address wrong and still continued to get it wrong even after i told the dumb bitch the address multiple times, exceeding 10, over the phone. she should probably take some courses in speaking english because this is afterall america and last time i checked english is the primary language. <br /><br />actually, i think i should call the credit card company and ream them out for fucking my address up and employing a fucking idiot to talk to people. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:126245 2006-08-27T03:13:00Z 2006-08-27T03:13:00Z worked a double and made shit for it because it was dead.<br />kind of a bummer,<br />but at least i am at home getting high<br />and i'm content with that.<br />i eally wouldn't want to be doing anything else right now.<br />everyone is out partying.<br />and i am home, alone, with the cats i'm allergic to, and getting stoned.<br />and i fucking love every bit of it.<br /><br />oh yeeeeaaaaah. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:125241 2006-08-03T02:43:50Z 2006-08-03T20:32:51Z some of my friends make me feel like total shit.<br />i do the best i can to not gossip about my friends and not talk about them in a negative way to other people.<br />i used to do it a while ago but i stoppped because i realized it is not a good thing to do.<br />i realized that if i'm going to say anything bad about my friends that i can't say to their face than i should not be friends with them. <br />too bad they seem to be incapable of showing me the same respect.<br />especially when i express that i am going through a rough time right now because i am not making a lot of money and i am just scraping by.<br />i do the best i can.<br />i'd rather hear it directly than hear it from someone else.<br />i'm not 16 anymore.<br />i want people to be honest and straightfoward.<br />i am understanding of my friends. all their flaws and everything associated with it.<br />i defend them when other people try to talk shit.<br />it just offends me big time.<br />it lowers my faith in those people.<br />it makes me want to have nothing to do with them at all.<br />it's a huge slap in the face.<br />if any of you that read this think it's about you i can garuntee it is.<br />if you think is is directeed towards you, the reader, don't bother talking to me about it.<br />just change it a little.<br /><br />thaaaaaanks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:124986 2006-07-29T12:54:55Z 2006-07-29T12:54:55Z i haev to work a double today. hopefully iill actually make some good money. i'm in way over my head in debt and i can't pay for anything right now because i have no money.<br />i'm not even on the schedule next week and hopefully i can get it taken care of today. i need to be scheduled so i can pay my bills that are not getting any lower, only higher because i'm getting slapped with late fees and i need to use credit cards for gas and then i'm not able to pay them off. and gas is $70+ a week for me.<br /><br />sweet. <br /><br />not really happy with anything at all. i don't want to be around anyone. i'd prefer to work every single day of the week. of course, that can't happen because my stupid job doesn't even have my name on the schedule.<br /><br />just a little grumpy this morning. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:124645 2006-07-13T21:38:10Z 2006-07-13T21:38:10Z i'll be in burlington at legal seafoods all day tomorrow for roughly 10-12 hours for training. <br />i can't wait til next week, though. i'm already covering one person's shift on top of whatever else i'll be scheduled.<br />i'll have money again and my bills will be paid!<br />not smelling like food/seafood when i get out of work is a huge bonus too.<br />however, trying to keep my tattoo covered is a bitch. i've already been talked to about it and that i HAVE to keep it covered.<br /><br />i'm just glad i finally left mango grille. that place was bringing me down and i wasn't making much money at all. legals is always busy. there's a ton of employees and that kinda makes me a little anxious because there are so many people i don't know. and i don't know the menus or the computer but that shit will come with time and i'll be making really good money.<br /><br />once i get my credit cards paid off i will be treating myself to a new coach purse. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:124126 2006-06-20T14:19:46Z 2006-06-20T16:34:11Z everything.<br />being treated like shit.<br />being broke.<br />not finding a second, third job.<br />fuckfuck. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:123767 2006-06-12T16:44:31Z 2006-06-12T20:21:09Z but it never does.<br />how can something that used to be so awesome suddenly turn into shit?<br />it's a series of disappointments.<br />a series of letdowns.<br />i constantly hope that maybe something will be done that will make me smile a big smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside again.<br />but i doubt that will happen.<br /><br />ugh.<br />UUUUUGH. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:123284 2006-05-05T07:01:13Z 2006-05-05T07:01:13Z my life is an uneventful and neverending series of disappointments and bum-outs.<br /><br />this is just a simple observation. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:122641 2006-04-20T15:18:16Z 2006-04-20T15:18:16Z is it too much to ask to get a decent amount of lettuce on a sandwich?<br />i like lettuce on sandwiches and one wilted leaf just doesn't cut it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:122566 2006-04-13T00:14:44Z 2006-04-13T00:14:44Z in my mother.<br /><br />now most of you know my mom lives in california. she left my dad and moved there in late summer 2001 and kinda reunited with her ex-boyfriend that she was with before she met and married my dad. he's a pretty well off dude that works with computers and when i lived there he was making 100K a year. my mom never really got a job since she has moved there and that was the main reason i moved back from california after living there for 8 months. I loved it there and wanted to stay but my mom wouldn't get a job or even put much effort in it, thus, we were living off her boyfriend (we lived with him). now i like the guy and i got along great with him but i didn't want to be living off someone who had no obligation to pay for me to live. i gave my mom an ulitmatum to get a job in a month or i would move back to massachusetts. she didn't get a job or had any prospects and i obviously came back.<br /><br />my mom coninued to not get a job. she had one for a short while but that lasted about a year. she would always talk about all these places that she was going to apply. i can't help but wonder if she really did go for these jobs. i mean, my mom was a very important asset at her job in boston when she was with my dad and living here. she was making around 60K a year and that isn't too bad considering the fact that my mom didn't really get much college education. but since she decided to leave my dad back in 02 and run of to california it seems that she's been in this neverending midlife crisis. she doesn't get a job and her only defense is that she's worked hard for such a long timie and she nees a break. that's fine, i understand, but she's gone way too far.<br /><br />so my mom has been fairly irresponsible since she's been in california and breaking her word. she's made all these promises to me that she would help me finanially with things i would need help with. not much, but at times i really needed her help and never received it. so i got used to the fact that she would be completely unreliable despite all the promises she continued to make. what's wose is how she has had my dad pay for plane tickets to come out here. he ahs done that on several different occasions. she's had some bills she couldn't pay and there my dad was to the rescue. my dad, the man she left and crushed, her ex-husband, has been helping me out a great deal since i've been in school. all i ask of my dad is help with my rent and i ask for nothing else. my siblings seem to always ask him for help, like he's secretly rich, and buy shit on his credit and not pay him back. my brother bought an $800 bed and is keeping the $800 washer and dryer my dad bought for my apartment (3 of his kids live her so it isn't that bad) when i wanted to pay my dad back for buying it for us over the span of like 8 months. also with my brother's new car my dad said he would be the first insurance payment of $800. the only person that genuinely needs financial help in my family is me. i'm a fulltime student and work as a waitress and make as much money and ask for as little help as possible. all my siblings make more money then me and only one of them goes to school and he's only part-time and brags about making $800 a week at his job that he doesn't realy like.<br /><br />what my mom did to realy piss me off was that she was about to get her car reposessed because she ahsn't paid it, obviously because she doesn't have a fucking job. that is something she taught her kids NOT to let happen. and my dad bailed her out.<br /><br />does that woman not ahve any morals or ethics? what the fuck is wrong with her? i know this sounds mean, but i am down with my mom. she has done shit that i am completely against. i don't give a fuck if she misses her kids. if she got her life abck together we would see her a hell of a lot more often. but she chooses to be a deadbeat and continue to mooch off my dad who now has no obligation to her at all and should not worry about her.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />oh and i want a toyata camery hybrid. that car is so sweet. i know i just got a new car, but i want a hybrid. save some cash on the ever expensive gasoline. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:122295 2006-04-08T15:43:39Z 2006-04-08T17:48:24Z my money problems are back.<br />i've had a lot of slack to pick up on rent and bills b/c i haven't been given enough money. so i've spent hundreds of dollars of my own money for it when it should be split up.<br />so i'm broke now.<br />and i haven't been able to work b/c i've had a stupid stomach virus that won't go away.<br />awesome.<br />so i have no money.<br />don't ask me to ahng out or do anything.<br />i can't afford it.<br />thanks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:121909 2006-04-01T20:43:47Z 2006-04-01T20:43:47Z i'm sick of leaving when the sun comes up.<br />i try to leave at a decent hour and it never happens b/c it's never my choice when i get to leave regardless of the fact that i drove MY car.<br />i'm not mad at anyone, just really pissed off at myself for letting this happen all the time.<br />i have to work and i feel like shit b/c i didn't get enough sleep.<br />i just don't want any nagging from anyone to go to boston when i don't want to go. i can't do it when i have work and school to deal with. going to boston costs too much money and i can't afford it anymore urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:121748 2006-03-20T20:10:43Z 2006-03-20T20:10:43Z spring break is over.<br />little less than a month and a half left before summer break.<br />i got my hair done.<br />life. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:121407 2006-03-01T02:31:17Z 2006-03-01T02:31:17Z i don't like my new job. i'm not bartending there, i'm waitressing. there is no way in hell i'm gonna waitres at 2 different restaurants. that's just dumb.<br />the job is easy as hell. i could be on my own already but they want me to have another week or 2 of training. fuck that. i'm waitressing, it's an easy job as it is and i've got everything down already except the computer and that comes in time anyways.<br />also, there is a waitress there that is just like the bitch in waiting. she was doing her side work and the whole time she was angrily muttering. and everyone else there is crazy too.<br />so i'm probably not gonna stay there and continue looking for a bartending job somewhere, anywhere.<br />if anyone knows of ANYWHERE hiring bartenders let me know. please and thank you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:121160 2006-02-25T04:11:47Z 2006-02-25T04:11:47Z my room is freezing.<br />the bugs are back so my room also smells like bugspray.<br />i want to smoke weed, but i don't have any to smoke or anything to smoke out of.<br />there is a lack of motivation to do anything but lay in bed.<br />the only reason i actually got up was to kill the bugs. <br />i guess that must mean i'm pretty bummed. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:gingerr:121027 2006-02-16T21:30:57Z 2006-02-16T21:30:57Z i just got a second job. after a month and a half of a waiting i get a call for orientation at this restaurant in reading. i don't know how the hell i'm gonna pull off working 2 jobs and go to school fulltime. i don't even know if i'm waitressing or bartending, i'd much prefer to bartend.<br /><br />figures, i get the job that i was trying to get after my work chills out and i start making more money. i work 5 shifts a week already and make $300-$400 a week. the place i just got hired at does more business, though, therefore making it much more of a preferable place of employment.<br /><br />well, this will be a very soon goodbye to my social life. i'll probably be working everyday on top of going to school and all of my school work. if i pull it off i'll have so much money though. especially since i still have to do my tax returns and i'll be getting my disbursed school loan which will be around $1300 this month and another $1000 in the next 2 months. i'm definitly going somewhere sweet this summer for a vacation. oh and i'm gonna start putting money away to build interest so when i'm done with school paying the loan back won't be such a huge problem.<br /><br /><br />askjdasklf.